Diary of a Teenage Girl – Episode 5

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Mother and Daughter in the Park

The moment my head hit the pillow, tears start rolling down my face. A flashback of my reaction was all it took to make me regret everything I said to my mother. I know I hurt her, there is no point trying to deny it. But then, pride won’t let me go and comfort her. So, I stay in my room and allow my guilt eat up my soul.

The funny thing about it is that I just keep allowing the devil to use me. I didn’t even try to stop him for a minute. I just usually go with the flow. “You are hurting too” I hear a voice say to me. I do not know the aim of the voice, but one thing I know for sure is that it does not take the pain that I am feeling away.

I don’t know how I allowed the devil use me, but then this time, he really used me to hurt her. I know I had used a drilling machine (my words) to drill a hole in her heart. How can I fix what I have done? I know I don’t hate her. I never did and I never will. What in the world made me utter such statement? For the first time in my life, I feel very lonely and scared.

I decide to turn a new leaf once I wake up. I set my alarm for 7:00 am, say my prayers and sleep off.

I wake up to the sound of my alarm and to be very honest in my whole life, I have never woken up this happy. Not even on my birthday. I go straight to the sitting room, clean and rearrange the whole place.  By the time I was done, I felt like I still had more energy to burn so I went straight to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. My whole aim is to make things better, to prove to my mum that I actually really love her beyond words and to assure her that what happened last night is going to be the first and the last time it will ever happen. I make her favourite food, plantain and eggs (Dodo Oniyeri).

The food is ready but I am contemplating on how I will take it to her. I know I can’t just walk into her room, offer her favourite meal and then think everything will be okay. So, I do the last thing I can do. I pray.

“Dear God, I know I have hurt my mother big time, I acknowledge it and I have come to repent of my bad ways. I know you work in mysterious ways so I plead that you heal the hole I have created in her heart. I really hope she forgives me and I promise that I will make her the happiest mother ever. I’m very sure you hear me, so before I walk into her room, touch her heart. One last thing before I forget, heal her. I don’t want to lose her. She is all I have in this world. Amen”

I knock at the door and say, “Mum, are you up?”

I don’t know but then I felt she wasn’t going to answer, but then a happy voice responds, “Come in Mo, you know you really don’t have to knock”.

All I want to do is run to her arms and kiss her head and tell her how much I love her. But I am not sure if she will receive me.

As I enter her room, I drop the tray on the table and go on my knees, ‘Mum, I am really really, really really, sorry. I didn’t mean to do that. I promise it won’t happen again…”

Before I could finish my statement, she walks up to me and hugs me and kisses my forehead. I feel safe and secure again. It is way too obvious that I am happy. My smile is literally reaching my ears.

“I made breakfast.” I said so she can eat before the food gets cold.

She looks at me and says, “Oh dear! I love you now and always.”

She walks back to her bed and says, “Breakfast in bed, your dad never did this for me. I guess I will just divorce him and marry you.” She made a funny face and I laughed and said, “At your service, ma’am.”

When she opened the plate, and saw her favourite food, I could tell that she was beyond happy.

“Mo, go and bring your fork, I cannot eat this delicacy alone.”

I ran to the kitchen to get a fork and we both ate away the incident that happened last night.

 

Catch up on previous episodes HERE

 

© 2017 Boluwatife Ayinde
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the writer, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

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